THEY ONLY CALL YOU TO HOOK UP:
This one is pretty self-explanatory. If you and a guy have been seeing each other for some time, but only tend to lime when he sends a late-night text asking if you’re up and want to see each other, then he’s made it pretty clear he’s not looking for anything more right now. The biggest difference between a consistent hookup and a relationship is a mutual understanding of your feelings for each other and intentions with each other. This dude? He’s looking for one thing, and it’s not a relationship.
Another test is that even if you do lime outside of the bedroom – or wherever it is you do your do – your conversations are still about sex, or sexual in nature. If that’s the case, you’re looking at strictly a casual thing. Healthy relationships – even friendships – rely on caring about the other person’s well-being. So if your conversations are about this one thing, your ‘relationship’ will be too.
YOU DON’T REALLY, ACTUALLY, GO ON DATES:
It’s pretty simple. If someone isn’t looking to commit, dates are certainly not a priority for them. In fact, it’s pretty much out of the question. Because let’s face it – planning and going on a date, even if it’s a friend date, requires time, energy and money, and they’re not looking to give you any of that. And while most “casual” relationships these days don’t necessarily go on dates, even if you can’t just lime casually, you know something’s up.
If a guy you’re sleeping with is only really trying to lime in a setting that’s dark and steamy, and certainly not romantic, he’s making it clear to you that he doesn’t consider you anything more than a casual hookup. And that’s fine. But if you’re looking for something more, he’s probably not the right one for you, and it’s best if you move on now before any (or more) feelings are invested.
THEY DON’T CARE TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS OR FAMILY:
So you’ve been liming for a little while, consistently hooking up and you think ‘ok, lemme invite him to my cousin’s birthday lime’. Big step, right? Wrong. If your invite reminds him that he’s ‘suddenly busy’ or has him all but running for the hills, this is a huge sign that this is nothing more than a casual fling to him. Meeting a SO’s family is a massive step in a relationship, and his hesitance to do so shows that he doesn’t consider this a relationship worth pursuing.
If he knows and limes with your friends already, but doesn’t want to show up to the boat cruise with you (and not just meet you there), chances are he’s not looking to show the world he’s unavailable – because to him, he’s still very much available. On the other hand, they should also want you to meet the important people in their life too, so if you feel like he’s not extending that invitation to you, there’s a reason.
THEY’RE GIVING YOU ALL THE MIXED SIGNALS:
Ok, so maybe he’s passed the test and you think you’re more than ready to take it to the next level, but something is still feeling… off. This, my friends, is called mixed signals, and it’s even worse than the rest of them. If one day he’s discussing your future together, yet he didn’t bring you as his plus-one to his best friend’s wedding. Or you’ve ramped up your flirting hardcore, only to be treated like a friend the next.
If his behaviour is confusing you because it’s constantly flip-flopping between friends, and more than friends, well then, there’s a chance he’s just as noncommittal as the rest. The biggest indicator is that if what he says and promises is vastly different and doesn’t measure up to how he’s treating you or acting towards you, he has no intention of a serious relationship. And ain’t nobody got time for that.