Getting Over An Ex You Still See Regularly

There’s nothing worse than going through a difficult breakup. Except, of course, going through a breakup with someone who’s still in your friend group.

Dating a best friend can be incredible. You know this person inside and out, you genuinely love and respect them as a human being, and you’re heightening that already-developed friendship. There’s truly nothing better than that. Except if you breakup. And well, that’s  just plain awkward.

What happens now? Do you share custody of your friends? Pretend everything’s okay when liming as a group? Or secretly want to stab him while drinking your sorrows away at your next Friday night lime. Even worse, how do you deal when one (or both) of you move on, and bring new significant others into the group? It’s just a recipe for disaster. Well, we’ve tried and tested it, and we’re helping you get through this rough patch.

CUT THE COMMUNICATION:

Look, we know you have a past, but there’s no future here. Considering how close your friendship (and relationship) was, even the slightest reminder of something good can hinder you from getting over your ex, and that’s the last thing you want. Whether you ended on the worst of terms or the best of them, you don’t want to keep the conversation going, at least not for a while. Of course, be polite and engage in small talk, but for your own sanity, leave it at that.

But, that doesn’t mean it’s a free for all to show how pissed off you are, or even display your resentment – you’re not going to be that ex, and you won’t be rude or even ignore them. It’s important that you maintain your ability to be the mature one, the cool, calm and collected, ‘shoot-why-did-we-ever-break-up’-thought-inducing one. But while we say to be as natural and as nice as possible, we don’t mean overly nice – and continuing to have conversations that are deep, personal or just long won’t help with the moving on process. You’re not dating anymore, so don’t continue the conversations you had back when you were. So while you might still be in the same friend group, it’s a good idea to wait until feelings have faded before going right back to your close friendship.

BUSY YOURSELF:

Like any breakup, there’s no better way to get over an ex than by distracting yourself with people you love and things you love to do. Whether it’s throwing yourself into a new hobby, giving your time to charity or just spending time with your girls who know you best, now is the time to focus on spending your time somewhere other than with your (now-ex) boyfriend. By investing your time into other interests, you’re not only providing yourself with a perfect distraction, but you’re also being productive and finding happiness again.

Plus, by putting your happiness into things you’re doing instead of people you’re with, you’ll gain more control over your emotions, and you’ll soon find you don’t need a relationship to fulfill your happiness or purpose. Take this time as an opportunity to try out all of the activities you always wanted to do, but never really got around to. Whether it’s picking up a new sport, joining a book club, giving your time to an organisation or just focusing on your personal development and bettering yourself, this is the time for you.


DON’T LOOK FOR THEM:

You know when you enter the fete and all you want to do is locate your crush? Well, the same shouldn’t go for your ex. It just makes things worse. Not only will you prevent yourself from truly having a good time, but you’ll start to overthink every little move they make, and that’s so not healthy. The less you see of them, the easier it is to stop thinking about them, and the sooner you’ll be able to move on, and return to being friends, or at least friendly. In situations where you can’t help them being in the same place as you, just focus on having fun with your friends, and try to keep your eyes away from their direction, no matter how hard it’ll be.

The XX Team

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