While Valentine’s Day was only days away, it’s not always roses and chocolate when it comes to relationships. In fact, it can be quite the opposite. After a breakup, it’s pretty easy to let heartbreak or tabanca set in. We get it – it’s a tough time, where you’re not only mourning the loss of your relationship but most times also a friendship. While it’s never going to be easy, we’re sharing our top tips for getting over a breakup and getting back to being you again!
Surround yourself with family and friends:
It’s the trap that so many people fall into post-breakup. They retreat to being by themselves, and while that’s natural, surrounding yourself with friends and family who know you best and understand what you’re going through will help you. Sometimes the best thing in the world isn’t having someone console you, it’s just having that person be there for you. Find those people, and keep yourself around them!
Talk to someone:
It’s the biggest stigma in the world that seeing someone or talking to a trained professional means that you’re “crazy” or something is wrong with you. Talking to a doctor, psychologist or therapist will show you that it’s normal to be experiencing these feelings, and that you’re doing a whole lot better than you think you are. And sometimes, they’re just a good person to sit and cry or vent to without interruption.
Delete pictures off social media:
I’ve seen this happen so often – you go through a breakup and you spend hours (more like days) scrolling through your/their Facebook and looking at pictures of the two of you together. Look how happy we were, you think. Delete them. Untag, remove and delete these pictures. Get them off Instagram, Facebook and whatever other social media platform before you drive yourself crazy!
Get out of your comfort zone:
Was there ever something you wanted to do or try but your SO didn’t want to or didn’t approve? Go ahead and do it! Do anything to get you into a new mindset, whether it be a new haircut, going on an adventure or taking up a new hobby! Doing something for you will feel so good because you’re genuinely enjoying it and you’re doing it for no reason other than it’s something that YOU have always wanted to do!
Avoid moving on too quickly:
We’ve all heard that saying – the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. And while it’s definitely a great distraction, you don’t want to rush into a new relationship or a new bed just because you’re single. And you most certainly don’t want to do it to make your ex jealous – more often than not it’ll only turn them off of you even more. While there’s nothing wrong with going out and flirting to build your self-confidence again, rushing into anything will only lead to disaster in the long run.
You always remember the past better than it really was. When you look back on your relationship, you’re looking at what we like to call the highlight reel – all the good things, the great memories, the loving moments. Too often we focus on this highlight reel and forget about the B-roll – the background noise, the dull moments, and even the not-so-great moments we tune out. So when you think about the relationship, be honest with yourself. Yes, you were happy. But there were also moments when you weren’t, and there were clearly underlying and growing issues in the relationship.
Yes, we just told you to cry. Go ahead, put on the saddest song you can and lay in your bed in the dark and cry. Cry to your friends, cry to your family, cry by yourself. Let it out. It is SO healthy to release your emotions. So let out that frustration, sadness and hurt that you’re feeling.
Keeping yourself busy is one of the best ways to move on without even realizing. The busier you are, the more you have going on, the less time you have to think about your ex or your relationship. Get involved in an extra-curricular activity. Do some charity work. Travel if you can. Make a bucket list and start checking some stuff off. Throw yourself into your work or schoolwork. Busy is good. And soon enough, you’ll be too busy to think of your ex. And you’ll have bettered your life in some way too!
Breakups are never easy. Even the most cordial of breakups can turn sour quickly if you aren’t careful. No matter how hurt or upset you are, try to remain respectful of your ex and never go around bashing them – remember no matter how much it hurts now, you shouldn’t regret something that once made you so happy and played such a significant role in your life.