I don’t usually spend any time pondering the reason why some women are single. Over the years I’ve heard women moan about the scarcity of ‘good men’ or even the scarcity of men with whom they share some compatibility, much to my displeasure I must add.
However, after being approached to share an opinion on the matter, I decided to tell some reasons I’ve come to know through informal research, mostly bar talks, with guys who’ve had reasonable experience with the woman they didn’t want to see again. Here it goes.
YOU THINK YOU’RE THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD:
There is a difference between being confident and being pompous. Yeah we get it, you’re a real treasure to behold.
You’ve spent so much time doing things exactly the way you like that you can’t – even won’t – try to understand the concept of a romantic dyadic relationship. No guy can measure up to your standard.
How could they? They barely even know you, and now they never will.
YOU TALK ABOUT YOUR EX ALL THE TIME:
If you still talk about the good times and the bad times with a previous partner with a potentially new one, you need to work that out.
No guy is interested in helping solve the mysteries of your previous relationship so that he can have one with you now. It’s just exhausting and counterproductive to the goal of said potential interest.
YOU DIVE IN DEEP WAY TOO FAST:
This is a surefire way to scare away any guy. As charming, good-looking and financially stable he may be, it’s hard for any man to settle down after two weeks.
Play it cool. Take the relationship as it comes. Allow enough time to get to know each other. Having a future with the person is contingent on having enough information about the person to make the best decision you can about having a long-term relationship.
If it works, great! If it doesn’t, it doesn’t mean that time has been wasted. It’s worth it to take the time to make sure you’re with the person you actually want to be with.
YOU CAN’T GET OVER THE PAST:
Guys hate it when you blame them for things that other men have done to you in the past. No one is perfect. That shiny dude that is supposed to do no wrong doesn’t exist.
Everyone needs to be judged on their individual actions and just because you have a hunch based upon prior experiences, it doesn’t have to be true. Live in the present, learn to trust again and get over the past.
THE MATRIX GOT YOU:
You have a long list and your expectations are maniacally high and extremely specific. At the end of this list supposedly exists ‘the one’. This puts added unnecessary pressure on guys that tends to make them run for the hills.
He (‘the one’) just might exist and if he does, that’s awesome. However, you run the risk of missing out on experiencing life. Not every guy is going to be the love of your life (this ties into point 3), enjoy experiences as they come and hopefully things just might work out.
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT:
What’s that Backstreet Boys song again? Quit playing games with our heart! If you aren’t serious about being in a relationship just say it. Don’t play games with guys, they don’t like it.